streets of rage.

merry christmas to all!

low-key christmas this year, at least for me. i staggered through relaxing/stressful family time in an odd state of near-illness that sapped my appetite, energy level, cognition, and general will to live. despite this setback, good times were had.

almost crashed the new ride yesterday with dave on our quest to locate some high-quality home stereo equipment. this stretch of jarboe in west plaza was essentially a luge track and we were gratefully introduced to the car's anti-lock braking apparatus. in my brief panic, for some reason i reached for the gear knob and tried to put the car in park?! ineffective and ill-advised. the vehicle successfully stopped without incident, but it definitely added some spice to the morning.

christmas eve was fun although it was distressing to learn that several family members have crossed over to the dark side in any number of ways. i yielded a bountiful harvest and merriment was had.

now i sit here, dreading going to work tomorrow, listening to bbc 1xtra and thumbing through a ronald johnson book. someone should come entertain me or something.

whale.

yesterday's hibernation was awesome. i was feeling antsy around 11, so i walked to latteland just to get out of the house and do something. this was a mistake, for the land was encased in a thin, imperceptible layer of ice. it probably took me thirty minutes each way to traverse this silent, frozen landscape but i felt a sense of accomplishment. the simple act of risking my personal safety to pay $3 for an americano was very empowering.

with new resolve to really not leave the house anymore, i sat around and read the new issue of capgun and some john ashbery, the latter of which felt just like walking precariously on a slippery sidewalk, only with no landscaping or ford explorers to help me remain upright. laura and tim emerged from their cocoon and, as is often the case, tim instantly found the best possible thing to watch on television - "they live," starring rowdy roddy piper and keith david. this movie is a penetrating, subtle critique of capitalism with perhaps the best fight scene in all of cinema. rowdy roddy piper engages keith david in lumbering, manatee-like hand-to-hand combat (punctuated by the occasional suplex or backbreaker) because keith david would not don a pair of special sunglasses that enable the wearer to see THEM!!!!! amazing.

ed came by during this time. he was wearing a phoenix suns sweatshirt from 1994. we decided to go to eden alley for something to do and because humans need to eat regularly. the sidewalks were in much better condition than earlier. after spending some time at the bookstore and walking around the plaza aimlessly, we decided to forego eden alley and walk about a mile to mccoy's. this was an excellent decision. it felt genuinely excellent to walk arond in 15 degree weather with freezing rain mercilessly pelting my face. beer and vegan wraps were consumed voraciously, conversation ensued, our server was a ray south alum, etc., and i walked home after dark in pure splendour.

i'm not really sure what happened after i got home. i think i just wasted time on the internet and watched tv.

this entry is boring. i'm just saying that yesterday was a pretty good day.

mountain of needles.

i am afraid to leave my house. local news personnel report that there are many accidents occurring every minute around "the metro" (why the hell do they call kansas city "the metro?"), some with tragic results. given the crushing ineptitude of kcmo city services, and given that my house is perched atop a san francisco-esque incline, i will sit inside the house all day today. and tomorrow. wearing slippers.

i am drinking poorly-rendered coffee from a KBIA mug, which reminds me of columbia, missouri. it is almost as if darren hellwege himself were here stroking my brow with his huge, mitten-like paws, whispering the news directly into my ears with that honey-throated timbre.

predictions for today:

* i will not shower
* i will read twenty pages from seven different books, then quickly lose at least two of them.
* i will resolve to clean the house, then not do so.
* so-called "friends" will call to invite me to leave the house to engage in leisure, but i will become paralyzed with anxiety about bad roads. my esophagus will close. my voice will turn to sand. i will drop the phone to the floor, in slow-motion, as though i were a TV Mom who just received Tragic News. the phone will explode into ambulance-shaped confetti. i will hasten to my room, where i will spend the next sixteen hours curled in a ball, weeping.
* i will probably eat something.

what are you doing today?

who are you?

MVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVMVM

AREA RUG! THE JOGGER!

so i guess this thing is still operational. i am considering revisiting this "blog" to use as a "means" to "discuss various topics, particularly the mundane details of my personal life" on the "internet." i hope someone out there finds this agreeable.

it actually feels like no time has passed since my last post in June, although this has been a relatively eventful period. i left one employer and started at another. i moved. i moved in with tim, a male human and roommate. good and bad times have come and gone. right now i am sitting in what i assume is the dining room of a two bedroom bungalow, which i have made my Boudoir Annexe by placing my computer, reading chair, books, records, etc. in the room in a way which indicates the room is "mine." it is important to establish boundaries like this. if i could password-protect this room, however, i would not do so, for that is not how i roll.

right now i am watching a boring football game, on mute, on a tiny tv from 1990, listening to sebadoh. actually, i'm listening to sebadoh while a tv is tuned to a boring football game. i have tan old man slippers on my feet. i bought them at target. even though target is 95% as evil as wal-mart, a competing concern, i feel good shopping there because they have talented marketers who have caused me to believe that buying bottled water, socks, and tape at their enormous store is morally superior to a nearby, similarly enormous store operated by wal-mart.

in sum: yes.

LAKE OF DREAMS

* the kansas bar exam is in less than a month and i haven't studied five minutes for it.
* i have hiccups right now for the first time in years.
* "miami ink" makes me really want a tattoo, but then i look at my skin. it is the color of frozen chicken.
* i got a new job.
* right now jp wine bar is closed for renovations, but after that i'll be playing records there every monday with nick and josh.

question: do i try to buy a home (in the form of a loft or house) asap or do i rent a house with tim in west plaza and dude it up for a year while i ponder the options. i strongly favor the latter.

Richard Rorty (1931-2007)

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"your silent face" by new order (particuarly the razormaid remix) makes me cry beautiful robot tears.